The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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