So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I am spending my child support on dildos
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
