so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
