That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
