The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
