OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
