So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
