that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
