we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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