your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
