I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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