I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
