She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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