Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she pinky promised me she was 18
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
