I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
