We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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