How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
