his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
