I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
