We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
there was a trapeze. enough said
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
