I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
