"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
