***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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