if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
