I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
