It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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