so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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