Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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