I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
