wrigley field is MILF paradise
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Betty ford says i'm here all night
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
