Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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