Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
