What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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