I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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