and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
