like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
