Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize