did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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