I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
