I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
