i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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