Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
