So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
