Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
