ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
