Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
