what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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