youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
