dude i'm inner monologue high
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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