What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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