One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
