the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
